The 20 Percent Rule — Radiation, Day 31, 2 more to Go!

March 9th — Only two more days of radiation! I had been feeling a bit poorly over the last week, tired, slight stomachache, slight headache, a bit depressed. I felt a bit hung over in fact. Today, I have more energy and the queasiness and headache are better. Maybe it’s the panacea effect of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Last night a friend watched the kids so Greg and I could have a date since he’s off to DC again this week. I’ve lost my appetite and 8 pounds while on radiation so Greg talked me through my pasta and salad as if I were our daughter, “you’re 43, that means you need to take 43 bites of pasta.” When I told someone I hadn’t been feeling great, they commented that my blog always seems so upbeat yet my reality is about 20 percent worse than I let on. I thought that was accurate. I think I’ve said when my physical, spiritual and emotional states have been low but usually figure everyone would be bored by my complaints about nausea, emotional fatigue or other ailments. Isn’t it funnier to concentrate on the surreal and humorous aspects of my cancer world? For example, today I kept telling folks that I see the light at the end of the tunnel because I only have two more days of radiation. Something inside me laughs at my choice of phrase telling me, “move away from the light, Amy! Away from the light!”