Broken Machine — Radiation, Day 7

February 2nd — I spent two hours at radiation today because when I first arrived, a part of the machine was broken. I spent an hour in the morning waiting. And then I got to come back in the afternoon to actually have my treatment. The waiting room at my regular timeslot was backed up because the machine broke yesterday and folks who couldn’t get treatment then were waiting this morning. After waiting an hour, a tech came out and said they needed to get their engineer into the room so would have to take a 45 minute break from treatment. Could we wait? There were already three people ahead of me at that point. When I said I would prefer to reschedule, they booked me at 1 p.m. Life, I have a small business we just started. I don’t have time for this. Cancer is very inconvenient. I made some phone calls and rearranged childcare duties so I could still make my Girl Scout cooking class that afternoon and went on with my day. Before my treatment, the techs took more x-rays of me. As I’m being zapped, I thought about how all my life I’ve avoided x-rays. When I’d see the dentist for my annual check-up and the hygienist wanted to take x-rays because it had been three years since my last set, I would ask if it were really necessary since I don’t have cavities. If the dentist thought the x-rays were prudent, I would have done it, but didn’t want random x-rays just because it had been three years. And in the last week, I’m sure I’ve been exposed to far more dangerous radiation than another person’s lifetime of dental x-rays. It just points out how scary my disease is that this treatment is important enough in prolonging my life that the benefits outweigh the risks. Any wonder I cry driving to radiation each morning?